Let's eat out ... yumm-o

Some of the interesting menus we have seen lately ....

Prince Charles and his Camil

So, Prince Charles and Camilla came to visit us in Abu Dhabi (just for one day, but what the heck ...) And they drove past OUR house, and WE SAW THEM (from the window of the 14th floor, but what the heck ...) And here are the photos to prove it .....

First, the cops blocked off the intersection ...
That's HIM in the first black car ...














Closely followed by his personal ambulance (right side of photo) and then (presumably) some bodyguards ...

And some more bodyguards ...














And some more bodyguards ... and finally the cops ...

Then the excitement was over
and life returned to "normal" once again.

Fame at last !!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zan8Xnq5-30

Did you spot the whirling South African dervishes swinging pillows ?????
Not sure why they fuzzed our faces - perhaps to protect the innocent involved...!!

Pillow Fighting - and FAME

Recently a group called Foresight (www.foresightpillowfight.org/?page_id=5) organised a Guinness Record breaking attempt to hold the biggest pillow fight. They were hoping for 5000 participants - so DD and I joined in (who can resist a good pillow fight??)

It started out in an orderly(??) fashion, with the handing out of pillows to participants ....

But, BEFORE the start of the actual fight, things quickly deteriorated into a free-for-all, a a certain person (who shall remain nameless on this blog!) couldn't contain the urge to bash the sh*t out of someone smaller ....

until, exhausted from showing the DD who is the boss, he finally collapsed on said pillow ...




THEN, the actual fight began .....















It only lasted for 1 minute, but was the most fun I have had with a pillow since I was a teenager .......!!!

Afterwards, we drove away feeling exhausted, stress-less and knowing that we would be famous one day - so, when you see the biggest pillowfight listed in the Guinness Book of World Records, YOU can say : I know someone who was there ......

I'm confused ......

Watching the news on Iraq, where the Sunni's and the Shia are having a go at each other, I got to thinking .... which sect are the UAE Moslems? I mean, it's like a rugby match - you've gotta support the right team, right?

So I looked it up .... big mistake!! Hours later I was still none the wiser. These guys have more divisions than a Matric maths class. It's no wonder they don't get along too well.

Let me see if I have got it right .... It seems that "the religion of Islam has many divisions, sects, schools, traditions, and related faiths." No kidding!!From http://en.wikipedia.org/Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

1 Major Branches
1.1 Sunni
1.2 Shi`a
1.3 Sufi
2 Sunni schools of thought
2.1 Hanafi
2.2 Hanbali
2.3 Maliki
2.4 Shafi'i
3 Shi'a Sects
3.1 Jafari
3.2 Ismailiyah
3.3 Zaiddiyah
3.4 Alawi
3.5 Alevi
3.6 Bohras
4 Sufi Orders
4.1 Bektashi
4.2 Chishti
4.3 Naqshbandi
4.4 Oveyssi
4.5 Qadiri
4.6 Suhrawardiyya
5 Kharijite Sects
5.1 Ibadi
5.2 Sufri
6 Kalam Schools
6.1 Ash'ari
6.2 Maturidi
6.3 Murjite
6.4 Mu'tazili
7 Movements within sects
7.1 Barelwi
7.2 Deobandi
7.3 Salafism
7.4 Wahhabism
7.5 Liberals
7.6 Islamism
7.7 Tablighi Jama'at
8 Other sects
8.1 Zikri
8.2 Ahmadiyya
8.3 Moorish Science
8.4 Nation of Islam
9 Related Faiths
9.1 Yazidi
9.2 Druze
9.3 Bábism
9.4 Bahá'í
9.5 Sikhism
9.6 Submitters
9.7 Five Percenters

Wikipedia - understanding that most of us are completely befuddled by now, also provide a world map of the types of Islam .....


But, if you look at the colour of the UAE's section, you will see that it is a completely different shade to the rest of the world and/or the key .... wha??

Ok, now I am dazed and confused ... and completely deurmekaar ... can someone please help me?

What's the difference ?

The country is run autocratically, with the voting population given very limited actual say over the running of the country. The disenfranchised population outnumbers those who have the "right to vote" many times to one. Millions of migrant workers have left poverty striken areas to work in the cities with streets of gold.

These workers fill lowly manual labourer positions, doing jobs that those who run the country refuse to do. These same migrant workers have very few rights and are frequently subject to basic human rights violations by those in power who are often above the law. They are paid poverty datum line wages and are treated far worse than the pampered pooches of their "bosses".

Crammed , sardinelike, into "hostels" or "labour camps" with less than basic amenities, some resort to sleeping on rooftops and the street or to timesharing their beds. They are separated from their families for months/years at a time - wives and children are not allowed. If wives are generously given work, they live in rooms the size of a cupboard, are not allowed to have their children or husbands with them and are expected to work all hours of the day and night. These women babysit the "madams" babies and, in many cases are the primary caregiver - virtually bringing them up.

Workers are threatened with "deportation" if they complain or question their treatment as there are many, many more who would be grateful to have these jobs because their homelands are wracked with poverty and disease. It is so easy to take advantage of these desperate people, and expect them to be grateful in return.

However, crime is low because punishment is swift and harsh. Lower castes are herded into their camps at night and those found wandering in affluent neighbourhoods are treated with suspicion by the police force who keep good law and order through fear of consequences. The economy booms because of natural resources that are sought after and prices are high. Tourists enjoy the rapidly growing attractions - huge hotel cities are built purely for their pleasure. They are safe and their pounds/dollars go far - they can live in luxury undreamt of in their home countries.

Slowly resentment and envy creep into the psyche of those at the bottom of the feeding chain. As prices rise, unaffecting the upper echelons, reports begin of petty crime - the theft of some bicycles, shoplifting, handbag and purse snatching. The powers-that-be decide that, in order not to panic tourists and the wealthy, newspapers should adhere to the adage that "less (reporting) is more".

More and more incidents of assault, rape and murder take place. Animal cruelty increases, beggars and scammers proliferate - despite efforts to keep them curbed. People are disillusioned with the overcrowded, stressed "golden" cities and become more aggressive and depressed. Suicide rates increase, alcoholism increases and drugs become a serious problem.

I've just realised .... I don't know if I am writing about the UAE or South Africa ....
Is there a lesson to be learned ?

I want an MP3 ... Player Plaper Paper

This was an advertising leaflet we recently received :

AN MP3 PLAYER BECAME .....

AN MP3 PLAPER, WHICH BECAME .....

AN MP3 PAPER!!

What's in a name?

First "french fries" became "freedom fries"
Then "danish pastries" became "cinnamon and raisin pastries" and "great danes" became "large horse-like dogs" (not really, but it COULD have happened!!)
Now, "pizza's" have become "elastic loaves" ... elastic loaves??!!

TEHRAN, Iran - Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has ordered government and cultural bodies to use modified Persian words to replace foreign words that have crept into the language, such as "pizzas" which will now be known as "elastic loaves," state media reported Saturday.

Mmmm, I wonder what is next ..... well, you know that Coca Cola directly translated into Chinese is "Bite the wax tadpole" ...

So, how about an elastic margaretha loaf with a wax tadpole and freedom fries?

Ah.... this crazy world of ours!

Clothes maketh the (wo)man - Re-post

Okay, we have reached the highly un-PC subject of the National Dress of the UAE. I am sure you all know and recognise the long black coat-like dress (abaya) and the head scarf(shayla) that the women wear. (As seen here, being worn by the blue-eyed infidel – Dear Moi and DD who could easily pass for one of Arab descent!)

Although abaya’s are basically black and basically shapeless, you would be amazed at the number of variations you see. Hemlines, cuffs and necklines are exquisitely embroidered and beaded – making each one a fashion statement in a subtle but very clear way. Some have a small train which drags along the filthy pavement, but most are about ankle length. This means that the ladies have carte blanche to decorate their feet with the most exquisite (and expensive!) shoes oil money can buy!

The other “must-have” accessory is a highly decorated Prada or Gucci or similarly over-the-top handbag.

Shayla’s are mostly black, but we have seen them in every other colour as well. Some are patterned, some fringed, some even have pom pom’s hanging around the edges! Women are constantly fiddling with and flicking their shayla’s – much like European women fiddle and flick their hair! We have seen shayla’s that leave the face uncovered, some that leave just the eyes uncovered and some that cover the entire face. The women have become very adept at eating and drinking and talking on cellphones whilst wearing the face-covering shayla’s. A Macdonalds hamburger is tucked under the chin part, thereupon follows some wiggling and squirming and viola (!) out pops the empty wrapper!

I feel most sorry for the babies who never get to see their mother’s face once outside the home. No smiling, winking or contortions of the mouth that normally accompany a mommy talking to her little one.

Some of the most devoted Muslim ladies wear elbow length black gloves and thick black stockings as well. And one of the most perturbing accessories I have seen is the burqa which is a stiff leather mask which covers eyebrows, nose and mouth – much like those awful braces some teenagers are unlucky enough to have to wear. The first time we saw one of these, on an elderly lady, I felt terribly concerned for her, believing that she must have been in a terrible accident and was wearing some sort of corrective headgear! They remind me of a horse’s bridle and I cannot see how these awful things can be considered anything other than gross. But, to each his/her own, I suppose.

Ladies who don’t have to cover their hands with gloves, often have them ornately decorated with henna painting. Each finger then also sports a flashy, flamboyant ring which glitters and glistens as the hands express what the face cannot. Feet are often also decorated and look very fetching in sexy high-heel sandals - another post for another day.

You know, we Westerners may feel that the abaya and shayla are offensive symbols of oppression, and maybe in certain parts of the world, they are. But I figure, anything that can cover you up when you are having a feeling-fat, bad hair, no makeup kind of a day, can't be all THAT bad!!

More Restaurant Fare

How to ruin good baked beans!!

Restaurant Fare

Does this mean the lamb is really really really underdone?

Some SerIOUS Bling!!

Look what came through AD Airport customs ....

The Good, the Ugly and the Really Really Bad

I bought some little round brown fruits from a fruit vendor who informed me that they tasted like lychees, only sweeter. I was the only one brave (or stupid) enough to try them and they are obviously more closely related to quinces!! My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth and my throat felt like I had swallowed some of the desert sand. DH and DD both got sore stomachs - from laughing at my puckered mouth. Tomorrow I am going back to that fruit vendor to teach him a few choice Afrikaans swear words! (I am still drinking water and trying to speak normally).

It took all our courage, but we did actually try one of the strange new fruits - dragon fruit. A beautiful, appetizingly bright pink fruit, the size of a grapefruit, with pure white flesh and tiny black pips. One cost us a fortune, but we felt it was worth it because it looked so delicious. We cut it up and munched - and spat out! It tasted of absolutely NOTHING. Like chomping on polystyrene. It obviously spent all its energy on looking good and forgot about taste (mmm, sounds like some people I know!). So much for dragon fruit - yech.

The latest epicurian (eating) misadventure is a durian ...

A durian is a prickly, pawpaw sized fruit and this is what they say about them on the Internet :

"Tastes like apple and banana custard, with a texture between custard and porridge. Creamy and yummy. "

There are many internet sites devoted to durians, including poetry written about them... are you starting to get suspicious? Well, not me, yet. In some countries, you are not permitted to transport them on public transport or into hotels because of their smell .... does that make you want to rush out and try one? Well, I did ....

They lie!! Durians do not have a smell - they have a STENCH, which can be described as : a sewer full of rotting pineapples, skunks, decaying rotten eggs - well, you get the picture.

I just HAD to try it - I paid Dh40 (!!) for one, transported it home in DH's new car - which now has a semi-permanent smell of dirty nappies, cut it open and infused the entire house with it's whiff (which is actually visible - floating on the air!!) and actually scraped out the slimy, squashy insides and ate it.

Before we go any further, let me give you some Life Advice - Wherever you are, whatever you do, don't ever, and I mean EVER !!! eat a Durian. Don't listen to what people say about it smelling bad, but tasting good - it tastes worse than it smells.

Today I found a truthful description which says that they taste like a mixture of Stilton cheese, bananas, garlic, whiskey, honey and various other unmentionables. Now, that is closer to the truth. Why would anyone want to each such a thing? I think they should bottle the smell and use it to bomb the enemy - any war would be over in a matter of minutes.

I know what you are thinking - why does she not learn? Stop trying those weird fruits and vegetables. But, just the names, like rambuttans, mangosteens, chikoos, sound so exotic and conjure up images of faraway, mysterious lands .... and so DM is caught again and again and again.

Where are all the sick people?

A recent report stated that every company will now have to employ 2 disabled persons on their staff. I think this is a superb idea, but .... I wonder where they are going to get all these disabled persons? Truthfully, when last did you see a cripple, or a blind person, or an amputee or someone in a wheelchair, or anyone with a physical or mental disability? I have been here almost 2 years and in all that time, I have seen one person in a wheelchair and yesterday saw someone who obviously had Downs Syndrome.
I haven't even seen anyone with a broken leg or arm, or even anyone with a bandage - the most "disabled" person I have seen had a plaster on his forehead where he hit his head on a cupboard.
So, where are all the disabled people? In fact, where are all the old people too? Don't see many of them around either.
What happens to you when you get old or hurt?
Okay, I presume that old, sick, disabled expats are shipped back to their countries, but surely UAE residents suffer from age and accidents, just like the rest of us humans? Or is it really a country populated with only rich and beautiful people?
OMG, I am so old and fat and ugly, I guess MY time will soon be up .........

Oh, I have just seen this article on another blog - great minds must think alike!!
http://secretdubai.blogspot.com

Talking Dates ... again ...

I have discovered dates ... not the hard, compressed bricks that we are used to - but fresh, sweet and succulent. There are many different types of dates - depending on the country they are from. ("Experts" tell me the best are from Syria or Lebanon). Here they are served plain as an appetiser to stave off hunger, raw, stuffed with nuts and various other stuffings, in cold food, in hot food, as a syrup (VERY yummy! Try it!!), as a flavouring for milk (not bad) and as ingredients in many sweets and desserts. We even had date tea at the Emirates Palace Hotel - As a total tea hater, it converted me - YUMMMMMY. I am sure if the country was not so anti-alcoholic, they would find a way to make date wine .... now THAT sounds good!!

This time of the year the date palms are again pregnant with the promise of a bountiful crop of gold. (Wow! How's that for waxing lyrical....!!)

And, now I have discovered the ultimate date ... frozen. These delicious little bombs of ice cold sweetness are so addictive, someone is bound to ban them soon - so try them if you ever see them - and remember, you heard it HERE first!!

Miss Communication

So, as you know, we went back to South Africa - taking our newly learnt "Arabic" with us ...

There are now more than a couple of Saffers muttering : "Up YOUR inch with a shalla". (And, co-incidentally, the hand sign that usually accompanies Inshallah means a**hole in SA!!

And "tomorrow" has become an acceptable, actual length of time - almost as long as the South African "just now".

And now, back in the desert ...

Imagine the petrol jockey's face when DH leaned out the window and said "Woza Nkosi"... priceless!!

When you drive past a car and the driver grins and says "Jou bliksem" - it is NOT actually a compliment, just us swearing at you!

Been there and back ....

Just got back from the Motherland – went home for Christmas for the first time in over a year. Thought you might like to know what I thought – I began comparing “home” with “home” and this is what I found :

- Entering the country through customs :
UAE : We were greeted with a sullen grunt of “Hmmpf, passport!” and sent on our way with “Go!”
South Africa : We were cheerily greeted with toothy grins and “How are you? Welcome to South Africa, where are you visiting? Enjoy your stay.”

- On feeling safe and comfortable :
UAE : We finally relaxed and began to believe in the inherent good of people whose sole purpose was NOT to rob, murder or rape us.
South Africa : Within moments, our paranoia (justified by previous bad experiences) returned – we clutched our bags tighter, looked around suspiciously, were unable to leave any possessions unattended for even mere minutes, we locked and double locked car doors, hotel doors and luggage padlocks.

- Cars and traffic :
UAE : Traffic jams and snarl ups on a daily basis, but somehow, apart from the fools in the fast lane, most people patiently sit and wait their turn and let others pull in front of them (although, mostly, you don’t have an actual choice in this!)
South Africa : Traffic jams and snarl ups on a daily basis, most people turn on the road rage when they turn the car key. Drivers are belligerent, confrontational and use swearwords and zap signs far more than they use their hooters.

- Litter and pollution :
UAE : We have always remarked on how clean the streets and parks are – people walk or picnic or sit among the gardens and leave only their footprints when they leave.
South Africa : Streets and parks are littered with every conceivable type of rubbish, from plastic bags, cans, and bottles to garden rubble and dead animals. Trees and flowers are routinely destroyed just for fun. Concrete benches, rubbish bins and street signs are an invitation to prove how strong you are as you reduce them to rubble. Every surface is covered in ugly graffiti.

- Dress :
UAE : With the occasional exception of mutton-expat grannies trying to dress as young lambs, most ladies dress with a certain amount of decorum and respect.
South Africa : Sitting and people-watching in one of the malls, we could not believe that parents allow their daughters out in public wearing the skintight, microshort, low cut outfits we saw. But then, lots of the mothers were wearing them too. Watching people go up escalators and glass lifts was like receiving free biology lessons – not much left to the imagination!

- Television :
UAE : Strict censorship feels restrictive and irritating, but …South Africa : Talking about free biology lessons – just watch some of the soap operas – you won’t have to give the “birds and bees” talk to your kids – it is graphic and very realistic and all in “family viewing time”.

Conclusions :
Yes, distance DOES lend enchantment to the view – nostalgic memories are fuzzy and warm and leave out the harsher realities.
Yes, South Africa DOES treat tourists with more warmth and friendliness.
Yes, South Africans ARE more friendly and warm than Emiratis who, at times, seem quite hostile.
Yes, people in the UAE have a far stricter moral code, which I, personally, think holds more promise for the future than the “everyone-can-do-as-they-please” attitude.
Yes, it was nice to see naturally-growing trees and shrubs that were not planted in strict military rows and shorn and shaved to the exact same shape and specification.
Yes, it was extremely irritating to be swamped at every traffic light by vendors, sick, lame and lazy beggars and all kinds of suspicious looking loiterers.
Yes, it was a shock to have to empty your wallet, max out your credit card and promise the soul of your firstborn just to fill up with a tank of petrol.
Yes, it was very pleasant (to say the least) to come back and find our cars where we had parked them, and our house intact – not a common experience lately in SA.

So, I have decided my heart is where my home is – whatever country that may be – as long as DH and DD are there – but, my soul will always be African – there really is a kind of magic that you can never lose.

But on the other hand .....

Following on from my previous post ...

On the other hand - There is a patriotic spirit here that most countries would wish their citizens had - flags fly proudly on buildings, bicycles, cars, trucks, even overhead cranes. Pictures and photos and mozaics of sheiks, past and present, are literally on every corner and in stores, houses and cars.

On the other hand - The Moslem people have such a strong belief that they staunchly uphold their customs through ridicule, ignorance, uncomfortable praying positions, early morning rising, fasting, temptations from those with less moral fibre.

On the other hand - Abu Dhabi goes to enormous lengths to beautify main roads and gathering places. Trees, shrubs, grass and pot plants are laboriously planted out by hand and nurtured daily - some of the most beautiful and lush sidewalks I have seen in the world - here in the baking desert!

On the other hand - I love the fact that you can watch tv without having to sit through hours of inane adverts for anything from washing powder to airlines. (But the number of adverts seems to be creeping up daily - pity!)

On the other hand - It is a dream come true not to have continuous power cuts - with the ever increasing demand, they seem to have got the supply/demand conundrum solved.

On the other hand - What a pleasure to drive without spotting (a) dozens of dazed and lost pets and (b) dozens of squashed and dead pets on the road. (I'm not sure how they solve this, and I am not sure I WANT to know - a case of out of sight etc.)

On the other hand - I am shocked and embarassed by the way some non-Locals dress in public, treat others, get drunk etc. So I am not surprised at a certain amount of resentment and disgust - they disgust ME too!

On the other hand - I am constantly in awe at the amazing things that have been created here, with or without expat expertise! I know that if this oil had been found in Africa, the profits would have been selfishly sucked up by those in power, with no thought of spreading the wealth amongst the people. Here, it seems, everyone gets a share.

On the other hand - Surprise, surprise, we've come to love our new home - it has its faults - what country doesn't - but good outweighs bad so far, and one day when we leave, a little bit of our hearts will be left here.

My reply to your replies

Just gotta say :

Yup, I am white, I am South African and I am quite broad too - good guess!!

So you are telling me :

When you walk in the street, people smile, look you in the eyes and greet you (well they DO in some parts of the world) ....

When you (as an expat) sit all alone in a cafe or on the beach or at a club, other expats smile at you and ask if you would like to join them .... (The only expat I know who has done this, is ME!)

That furry long tailed rodent I saw trying to get up the steps was a .......???
Those brown scuttling insects that stream over the pavements are NOT cockroaches??

That schooling is cheap, housing is cheaper and you are saving as much as you thought you would? Please let me know your secret ...

That people here allow you to go first out of a door, or, if not, they hold it open until you have passed through... yeah right! That, if YOU hold the door for THEM, they say thank you ... yeah right!

And, finally, that you found things here just as you thought- If you did, then you must have had someone telling you things like : "It's a beautiful country, but ..." or "The Locals might seem distant at first, but ..." or "What seems barbaric to one person may seem normal to others and will take time to get used to" ................... and THAT is all I ask - be proud of your country and what you have achieved, but also have the guts to be honest and help others be more prepared for reality, then they won't feel so disappointed.