Sunday, July 24, 2005

No sweat ....!!! No way !!!

Warning! This article contains descriptions of bodily fluid emissions which might upset sensitive readers ….

I don’t sweat. I am lucky – I never have. On really, really, really hot days – or after vigorous aerobically exercising (oh yeah!!), I might perspire a little, perhaps even exude a little moisture on the brow or even glisten slightly.

But no longer, now I sweat, or should I say : SWEAT. Actually, the word sweat should contain an “R” then it would be an anagram of waters – that is more like what I do now – I WATER!! And this despite copious slatherings of Industrial Strength Mum for Active Macho SportsMEN anti-perspirant.

I feel things creeping on my scalp and running over my back – it’s sweat.

I feel drips down my legs – usually it’s sweat.

My knees sweat, my hands sweat, my lips sweat … even my eyelids sweat. DD says even her sweat sweats!

Not even the strongest “Sit Still” hairspray, and gel, and mousse can prevent my hair from sagging from the sweat.

My blusher drips onto my shoulders and my blouses cling like I am in a wet t-shirt competition.

And all that happens on COOL evenings – you just do not want to know what happens on HOT DAYS!!

Man, that saying “Don’t sweat” would have absolutely no meaning here!

And the latest innovation to help you replace lost salts and minerals when you are sweating so much … a delicious drink called Sweat by Pocari!! Now you can drink sweat as well - sounds yummy!!

And, as those of you who also sweat will know – sweating causes rashes – unpleasant rashes in sensitive places. So, imagine how excited I was when I discovered that Johnson’s make a talcum powder here, especially for heat rashes – it is called Prickly Heat Powder. I bought it so everyone in the family could get some relief, and this is how the conversation went :

Dear Me : Look, I found the solution to our problems .. Prickly Heat Powder …

Dear Husband : But, I don’t want my Prickly Heated !!!!

Dear Me : *Sigh!!*

No comments: