Sunday, June 05, 2005

I am cooking with gas .....

I am cooking with gas ...!! No, really, literally ... cooking with gas - for the first time - I am used to an electric stove.

I have, thus far, managed to : burn water (yes!! you CAN burn water!!), singe my eyebrows and eyelashes and DH's mustache (don't even ask!), melt my non-stick cooking utensils and the stove lighter, set my oven glove on fire, set my favourite apron alight (who knew you should not switch on the gas for a few minutes without lighting it, because it would explode into flames??,) char everything I have tried to fry, roast a leg of lamb for 7-and-a-half hours - and still serve it raw, fill the flat and adjoining passage with smoke - almost activating the building's fire alarm and giving us all severe lung damage, and scald several different body parts (some unmentionable in THIS country!), on several different occasions .....

In my defence, the oven doesn't even have a thermometer - you judge how hot it is by how quickly the hairs on the back of your hand singe off. After using the oven a few times, I now have no hand hairs left, so it is creating a problem. There are only two settings for the oven - scorching hot or ever so slightly warm - nothing inbetween, and no way to tell which setting it is on.

But I will persevere - I will not give up - I shall overcome ... and in the meantime, we have programmed the fast-food delivery number into our telephone!!